Post by Reggie on Dec 10, 2005 12:20:25 GMT -5
Private Question
Question-
I am a married woman who is in much distress, being married only 9 years, with my children [from a first marriage] grown and out on their own. I work all the time and he is a 24 –7 man, so we don’t see each other that much and when we do --- nothing --- no communication, the little that is said, is tense and every little word I speak, he rolls his eyes and huffs and puffs. He thinks only of his work and the people he works with, he never consider me, in nothing, but when I am working and bring in some money, things are a little calm, but if I am out sick or something all
? breaks loose, he does not abuse me physically, but he sure puts the mental strain one me to the point of having to take medication to calm me down, and now I am on blood pressure medication. He takes me nowhere and I am stuck at home unless I am working, no car to go in. He will not fix the car. Well I know what the Bible says about a wife and all, but is it right for a person to continue to live like this with the mental abuse thrown in? I’ve tried prayer, I’ve tired talking to him, but he won’t listen and then says we will talk later when he gets it together in his head. Which he never does, cause we never talk. Please help, I am at my wits end. In a way, [being a Christian] I know I need to pray and stay it out. As a woman, I want to pack his bags and sit them at the front door.
Answer-
Your frustration is normal and natural and you should find an outlet for it. Hopefully that outlet will be taking your frustration to God in prayer. In the absence of abandonment, abuse that damages, or adultery; I believe one should stay with a marriage and trust God to repair it. If your husband is a Believer in Jesus or not will effect how you are able to communicate with him. Love is very often an action, not a feeling. Love in action is described in 1 Corinthians 13 – it is the choice we make to be kind, humble, not threatening, tolerant of much wrong, courteous, unselfish, self-controlled, self-contained, focuses on the good, does not participate in sin, endures, has faith, and KEEPS HOPING. Your first step to repairing your torn marriage is to go back and find out when the walls went up and what caused them to be erected. Be vulnerable and tear down those barriers he has up. Then when you find what caused the walls, tear them down and rebuild your marriage. It will take time, a lot of work and patience but it can be done.
Question-
I am a married woman who is in much distress, being married only 9 years, with my children [from a first marriage] grown and out on their own. I work all the time and he is a 24 –7 man, so we don’t see each other that much and when we do --- nothing --- no communication, the little that is said, is tense and every little word I speak, he rolls his eyes and huffs and puffs. He thinks only of his work and the people he works with, he never consider me, in nothing, but when I am working and bring in some money, things are a little calm, but if I am out sick or something all
? breaks loose, he does not abuse me physically, but he sure puts the mental strain one me to the point of having to take medication to calm me down, and now I am on blood pressure medication. He takes me nowhere and I am stuck at home unless I am working, no car to go in. He will not fix the car. Well I know what the Bible says about a wife and all, but is it right for a person to continue to live like this with the mental abuse thrown in? I’ve tried prayer, I’ve tired talking to him, but he won’t listen and then says we will talk later when he gets it together in his head. Which he never does, cause we never talk. Please help, I am at my wits end. In a way, [being a Christian] I know I need to pray and stay it out. As a woman, I want to pack his bags and sit them at the front door.Answer-
Your frustration is normal and natural and you should find an outlet for it. Hopefully that outlet will be taking your frustration to God in prayer. In the absence of abandonment, abuse that damages, or adultery; I believe one should stay with a marriage and trust God to repair it. If your husband is a Believer in Jesus or not will effect how you are able to communicate with him. Love is very often an action, not a feeling. Love in action is described in 1 Corinthians 13 – it is the choice we make to be kind, humble, not threatening, tolerant of much wrong, courteous, unselfish, self-controlled, self-contained, focuses on the good, does not participate in sin, endures, has faith, and KEEPS HOPING. Your first step to repairing your torn marriage is to go back and find out when the walls went up and what caused them to be erected. Be vulnerable and tear down those barriers he has up. Then when you find what caused the walls, tear them down and rebuild your marriage. It will take time, a lot of work and patience but it can be done.